On a particularly personal note…
June 1, 2009
Nineteen years ago, I met a cutie named Christopher as we were on our way to the Science Olympiad state finals (how geekariffic is that?). He was on the local high school team, I was on the corresponding middle school team and we were bus-pooling. I spent the entire 8 hour-trip home from Oak Ridge flirting up a firestorm and we were dating within the week. Fourteen years later, I married that same man. Today is the fifth anniversary of the best decision of my adult life…
Inbetween, I’d married another man and started a family. Christopher and I had put our relationship aside shortly after he went away to college. I was in high school and found it difficult to date someone three years older than I, who was pursuing a degree in another state. But we remained the best of friends- swapping letters, visiting when he came home and speaking via phone every Sunday at 2:30pm. He was my friend, my confidante and my consummate sounding board. After my first marriage crumbled, Christopher and I eventually began dating long distance… I had moved to Knoxville, TN to be closer to my parents, while Christopher was living in Columbia, SC. He dutifully drove 4 hours each way every weekend for two and a half years so that we could be together. The man has the patience of a saint.
Here’s my favorite story from that time period: I left my previous marriage with precious few possessions. I had one pot and one pan to my name… which meant that I could make broccoli and chicken or rice and chicken, but not both- one pot meant one side dish. Christopher was always gracious when I blushingly put dinner on the table. For Valentine’s Day that first year, he told me he would come see me Friday night (as per our usual) and we’d go out to a fancy dinner Saturday evening. I was insanely excited, because fancy dinners for a single mom of a preschooler and a toddler didn’t happen very often. I awoke Thursday (Valentine’s Day) to the FedEx man bringing me chocolate-covered strawberries. *insert swoon here* I called Chris that night at our regular time, but got his home voicemail. I called again on his cell and he told me he was starving and running out for a bite. We chatted for about twenty minutes, until he asked me if I got the second delivery. I said “No, a delivery of what?” He asked me to check my front doorstep- nothing. He told me to check my side door… as I did, I discovered a silver wine bucket full of fresh flowers. I had the phone in my hand, but not up to my ear, as I said “Now how in the hell did he pull that off?” He stepped out from the shadows and said “How did I pull what off?” I dropped the phone and screeched. He’d taken the day off to come early and enjoy a long weekend. The next day, he took me to Williams Sonoma and bought me a full set of Calphalon cookware that I still use to this day. And we had a drop-dead fabulous dinner that night at the swankiest restaurant in town. As of that night, I knew I’d marry him- and I did a few years later.
Christopher was my first love- he taught me how to drive a car, was my official first date, took me to prom and on and on and on. On more than one occasion, people have met my husband and said to me “He’s not at all what I expected.” And he likely isn’t. You see, I never shut my mouth. I am outspoken, ambitious, impulsive, passionate and bullheaded. My husband is an only-child introvert, quiet, conservative, thoughtful, grounded and brilliant. He is the yin to my yang, the tether to my hot air balloon and the careful balance I need to keep me sane. Though he operates largely in the shadows, I could not do what I do without him. He allows me to come home and unload my stresses, provides a critical sounding board, comforts me when I am a certain I am imminently going bananas, nurtures our children when I am abroad and inspires me to be a better person every single day.
In a moment of humility that I will probably regret by tomorrow morning, I’m posting a picture of us at prom circa 1991 and another of us this weekend at our anniversary dinner.
Then

Now
Please, no need to fall all over yourselves to compliment my orange hair and dyed-to-match shoes! We’re a lot older and a little fatter, but he remains the single best decision of my adult life. Christopher: I am forever grateful for your love, support, patience, and comfort. Thanks for being my silent cheerleader and best friend. Here’s to 55 more!
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Comments
Comments
Comments
That is a beautiful story. It is so true about relationships that work. My husband and I balance each other out as if we fill the gaps, some bigger than others.
Strange how that works….
It is also strange, Lela, that I, too, was in love with Brad when I was 15 was with him for 3 years, then went our separate ways with no communication for 5 years and then when we reunited for a friend’s wedding party it was crazy love again. We just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.
Congratulations. I am very happy for you!!!